I don’t feel like I’ve achieved anything special by stretching my mind, my body, my faith, my doubts. Anyone could do it. Yet, I have done it while others have not. Why have I made this decision? Is it because I’m “special” or “unique” (or perhaps “weird” best fits!)? I don’t think so. It’s just part of my disposition. It’s just “me” and I’m glad I’ve embraced it.

But now I have come to the point where choosing to believe in Jesus is simply a choice like any other and accepting basic Buddhist techniques as beneficial is natural. I am left with the question of “what now?” Can I actually fully integrate the thoughts? I certainly don’t believe so, yet I know that there are aspects that look identical. Perhaps it’s like having two people looking at a piece of artwork. One sees it from his life’s perspective and the other from her’s. Neither has the full truth, but only an understanding of it. This is not to say that truth is relevant. The truth is simply “what is”. But both perspectives can only be understood by knowing the subjects viewing the art.

So for now, I am left with a biblical theology and a Buddhist methodology. I disagree with the former, although I’m expected to accept it. I embrace the later while knowing that it cannot get me any further away from nihilism than I can without it. Here is where I will seek to reconcile the two and then integrate secular philosophy and skepticism. I think this perhaps flows the easiest.