There are many things we must come to call absurd. Not invaluable, mind you, but ultimately absurd because of the impermanence of all things. If we were to start with terms alone, “forever” and “always” would be the first to fall under the categorization of absurd, as well as their opposites. For “forever” and “never” both reside only in conceptual domains, not life and love.
Nostalgia, that feeling of longing for what is past and what will never be again, is the only evidence for the devil that I have ever found. The faces that we loved and longed to see get distorted by that villain time since we last saw them. Even looking back into childhood, those toys we once loved and cherished become nothing but memories latched to plastic commercialism. Value dies with time. Value must die since we must die – otherwise, we’d all be in hell. When we lose a loved one, what could be worse than to never have the sting of their absence subside from time to time? At once, we long to feel that connection that is long gone and at the same time we long to have the chains broken. I once feared memory loss more than any thing that could happen to me. But if I could no longer realize that I forgot something, perhaps I would welcome it.
When I know that I have everything that the average person longs to have in their life, why don’t I feel satisfied by it? It’s not that I feel discontent, but I look at everything and see that it is absurd and pointless and fading, endlessly fading. It’s too much to handle. I am not strong enough to stare into that abyss for longer than a few moments. My heart starts to crumble and tears swell in my eyes. What a terrible fate we all must accept.
But what happens when we do accept it? Will a new strength form within us that edges us on to overcome our fears and tempt our fates?