Introversion is a Pain in the…

Introversion is a pain in the heart.

Sometimes I love the aspects of introversion that creatively moves me. But there’s one thing I have hated for a long time. Anytime I go on vacation, spend time socializing, or just go into public AND I have a good time, I feel awful afterwards. I feel like a went through a dozen subreddits and Quora pages and introversion is what we are all blaming. Frankly, I don’t know if it deserves all the blame.

How about you? If you experience this, comment don’t below.

What happens to me is that my thoughts immediately turn to existential issues. I reflect on the fleeting nature of life and love and beauty. Impermanence attacks me so viciously that I physically feel a weight on my heart, that familiar sinking feeling of depression. I think of how my niece and nephews have grown, how my own children have grown and changed. People change emotionally and physically. We grown in the middle, sag or wrinkle throughout. What once was beautiful 20 years ago is no longer. And it’s not just people. The places you stay and the cars you drive do the same. The one toy your child couldn’t live without three years ago — suddenly they couldn’t care less! They used to eat mac and cheese and Lucky Charms, but now they don’t. Young people with a righteous zeal for doing the right thing fall into temptations. Some do drugs and drink just to hide from this very feeling I’m hating right now.

But I’m glad I was able to jump on here and just type because I’m feeling the weight lifting a bit just getting it off my chest (was that pun intended? was it?). I didn’t feel like doing anything but sleeping and escaping how I was feeling. But now, I think I’ll try to get creative again. Thanks for stopping by.

7 Comments

  1. If you’re feeling depressed eat more fruit and play Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto – the greatest and most positive piece of music ever written IMO. It works for me, and it may work for you.

    PS I have not had a holiday/vacation in 10 years. I always think travelling is a hassle I can do without and you always have to come home.

    1. Yes the hassle of vacations is the prep and cleanup and makeup work afterwards! I heard that vacations were just teases before retirement (like that will exist when I reach that age! Lol)

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